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In the Booth with Ruth – Natasha Sandy, Ally to Victims of Sex Trafficking & Sexual Exploitation

Natasha Sandy

How did you become involved in supporting the abolition of prostitution?

By coming across sex trade survivors’ blogs – reading these blogs was and continues to be a mind-blowing, opening, altering experience and some of the best and most intense education I’ve had in my life. It leaves no doubt in my heart that the sex trade is soul destroying for the vast majority of those in it and it has to go.

What draws you to support people who are prostituted? 

Survivor voices deeply touch my heart and my sense of humanity. There’s no way I can sit idly by knowing the horrors endured inside the sex trade and the deep bio-psycho-social-spiritual wounds it creates. I like, respect, and want to be part of a movement that cares about the well-being of a population that society dismisses and deems disposable, because nobody is disposable. The massive ignorance around, and ignoring of, the prostituted is something I want to help change.

What does your work involve? 

Much educating of myself and others. When time and ability better permit, I look forward to getting more involved in the movement by connecting with and supporting the work of some awesome local abolitionists in my community.

What legal improvements or changes would help to abolish prostitution? 

I am a Decolonist, which means I work on and advocate for full and literal decolonization of our minds, spirits and ways of being, so we can get back to tribal, indigenous living. As such, I see the law (as we know it today) as a colonist tool of oppression, repression and depression. The law is also flaky, in that it changes as different lawmakers come into and out of power. All of this is not safe, reliable or good enough change for me. As Emma Goldman said, “No great idea in its beginning can ever be within the law. How can it be within the law? The law is stationary. The law is fixed. The law is a chariot wheel which binds us all regardless of conditions or place or time.”

That said, I respect and support abolitionists who say the Nordic model – decriminalizing the prostituted while criminalizing the buyers and pimps – is a good first step to reducing the harm of the sex trade. This kind of law works to fear monger (some) buyers and pimps who may get scared of getting busted and not rent or profit from the sexually enslaved, which is great if it stops some from getting harmed.

But the law doesn’t address the root problem, which is the thoughts and desires that fuel and normalize the domestic and international commercialized import, export and consumption of women and children’s bodies. The law is about punishment, so it cannot and will not address the prevention or creation of male violence, the backbone of the sex trade. The law deals with problems after the fact. Male violence is a huge, multi-layered cultural and spiritual cancer that will take much work from many different directions to abolish. The sex trade is a most excellent source of knowledge of what the center of male violence looks like, and looking at it from the center, allows us to address it effectively.

How can we abolish the sex trade outside of the law? 

By being human, which is something the world is increasingly forgetting how to be and encouraging and rewarding us not to be. The sex trade revolves around men who are disconnected from their humanity, who in turn demand and horrifically dehumanize the women and children they slave trade in. Nobody connected to their humanity would ever rent a person’s body to do as they wish with, or support those who do, or organizations and industries that do it.

Education in basic humanity and our relations – how we see and treat ourselves and others – seems to me to be a big piece of addressing and eventually erasing the demand for the sex trade. It appears many of the men (and their supporters) who buy the right to rape, torture, and enslave people don’t see themselves as participating in or condoning rape, torture and slavery, or else are completely disconnected from the horror of this reality.

So, some serious education needs to happen to come to the collective understanding that the sex trade is sexual slavery. Money doesn’t make a sexual ‘transaction’ magically equal or harm-free. All this will end when men begin to think and act fully human. How do we make this happen? It’s as simple as it is complicated because of colonist and other cultural barriers which cock-block us from connecting with our own and other people’s humanity in so many ways. I have more questions than answers as I work my way towards a deeper understanding around all this.

For anyone else who wants to be involved, what can other people do to help? 

I would say first, foremost, and always, listen to the voices of the prostituted to shape the direction of your advocacy. Make sure you are listening to voices of those who have actually ‘worked’ in the sex trade (more accurately, been victimized by it), not imposters who speak the language of ‘sex worker rights’ and ‘harm reduction’ because they do not have the most vulnerable people’s best interests at heart. This is clear in their words and lack of humanity in their arguments. These people are easy to sniff out because of their selfishness in that they never speak about the male violence inherent in the sex trade, nor do they care about, or adequately address, the harm this male violence inflicts on prostituted people’s psyches and bodies. ‘Sex worker rights’ and ‘harm reduction’ arguments are all sizzle and no steak; the words are hollow and lack humanity when compared to what survivor voices have to say.

Listening to and letting survivor voices shape our actions is critical because these people are the ultimate experts and authorities on the subject. The more of these voices you listen to, the deeper your understanding will become, and the clearer your action plan will be.

Also, be creative. Survivor voices don’t always tell us what advocacy to do, which is where our own creativity comes in. Whatever action we take, let it spring from the root issues survivors talk about, so that our actions are helpful to the abolition movement and truly supportive rather than hindering. I would also suggest talking with and bouncing ideas off survivors, they are incredibly intelligent, brave, clear and coherent people with vast knowledge that no sex trade outsider has – the depth and breadth of clarity informed by trauma is an amazing thing. Use their knowledge and education to inform your work.

Lastly, I really liked William Eberle’s idea where he says: “I believe that it is also clear that criminals see their gain from human trafficking, especially sex trafficking, far outweighing potential and actual costs. We need to change that equation so that it is no longer profitable for them. There needs to be asset forfeiture similar to that associated with drug crimes. Take these seized assets and put them to work helping the survivors of human trafficking.” I would love to get on board with this in some way and now have something more to think about as I continue to shape my own advocacy (thanks William!).

What are your plans for the future? 

To keep connecting with and listening to survivor voices and continuing to expand my knowledge of the issues they raise so that my own advocacy can be as fierce and supportive as possible.

Recommended websites/further reading: 

#1 – Sex trade survivor voices! I hugely, highly and emphatically recommend starting with these blogs. No matter how much academic, scientific or other ‘expert’ info or studies you come across, always, always, always come back to and prioritize survivor voices such as these ones because they are the true experts on the matter.

Survivor blogs I’d highly recommend reading are Rebecca Mott, FreeIrishWoman, XLondonCallGirl, Stella Marr, and Survivors Connect (an excellent resource for and collection of many survivors’ voices). Also Sextrade101 (co-founded by survivor of child trafficking, Bridget Perrier) and the Aboriginal Women’s Action Network (AWAN).

My blog is Feminist Rag.

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About Ruth Jacobs (296 Articles)
Author of Soul Destruction: Unforgivable, a novel exposing the dark world and harsh reality of life as a drug addicted call girl. The main storyline is based loosely on events from my own life. In addition to fiction writing, I am also involved in journalism and broadcasting, primarily for human rights campaigning in the areas of sex workers' rights, anti-sexual exploitation and anti-human trafficking.

48 Comments on In the Booth with Ruth – Natasha Sandy, Ally to Victims of Sex Trafficking & Sexual Exploitation

  1. Reblogged this on Soul Destruction – London Call Girl Diary & Book and commented:

    “The sex trade is soul destroying for the vast majority of those in it and it has to go,” says Natasha Sandy, an ally to the prostitution/sex slavery trade abolition movement. “Listening to and letting survivor voices shape our actions is critical because these people are the ultimate experts and authorities on the subject.”

  2. Prohibition is the water of Mafia fish and it is better to avoid it as the paying sex among adult and consentient people. Moreover, it is better to legalize and tax prostitution to cope with the World Wide Crisis.

    • What you are actually saying is that any abuse (including, rape, torture, and murder) of a particular group of women is acceptable, should be legal, and the government should profit from it too. There is a good reason why all abuse against all women is not legal or taxable. There is no group of women who should be treated like this. It is a worldwide crisis. Saying that profiting from one worldwide crisis (a crisis of humanity) could be used as the solution to another worldwide crisis (financial) is sick. If your priorities are to put money ahead of human rights, you’d be better living in a dictatorship. To see the negative results of legalisation and what is best for the women in prostitution (because I care far more about them than your need for ejaculation, or the resolving the global financial crisis by the way) can be read here: http://feministcurrent.com/7038/new-research-shows-violence-decreases-under-nordic-model-why-the-radio-silence/

      • Prostitution among adult and consentient people is not an abuse, but a right of a sex way choice. As I told, prohibition is the water of Mafia fish, becasue by that one crime can manage it easlier! It is fake that in Sweden, Norway and Iceland the sex salvery is getting low, because prostitution is underground and so not much visible.

        • Underground? What does that even mean? If the johns can easily find it, so can cops. Do you think there is some top-secret network that only a few johns are able to find? That only pimps know about? Where do the women *go*? Where does the advertising go?

        • Also, legal forms of prostitution are often used as fronts for illegal forms of prostitution, eg legal strip clubs are run by Hell’s Angels who traffick women, disproportionately aboriginal, into illegal prostitution. And women in strip club prostitution, as part of the daily course of events, are propositioned for illegal and/or against club rules acts of prostitution http://www.object.org.uk/files/Strip_club_study%20Holsopple.pdf Similarly, legal brothels crop up, and more illegal ones follow, to meet increased demand generally and to meet demand for the women who and acts that aren’t in the legal brothels http://action.web.ca/home/catw/attach/Ten%20Reasons%20for%20Not%20Legalizing%20Prostitution.pdf What men demand gets more specific and arduous for women to do and withstand, from women who’ve recently given birth being used to satisfy a mother/breastmilk fetish to penis in anus to refusal to use condoms to very painful thrusting to beatings to disabled women being fetishized, and so on. Feeding men’s entitlement to paid ejaculation only makes what they feel free to demand only expand in both “variety” and frequency and overall number of men.

          • I have said that prohibiton is worst, even for the entring of money of crime as the forbidden wine in America 20s, when this one was selled in hidden underground cellars.

  3. While I understand the reasoning behind the idea of taxing the proceeds of a contract that takes place between consenting adults, prostitution is not the same as “doing business”. Until we recognize and embrace the idea that a body is not a commodity, to be bought and sold like so much meat, this kind of thinking will endure.
    It’s time we accepted the fact that while we may be, physically speaking, animals, we are also sentient beings with emotions and with a soul, which cannot be removed from our bodies save by death.
    As cs Lewis once said… You are not a body that “has” a soul. You are a soul, who happens to reside in a body.

    • I can say that prostitution is not selling a body, but it is a service. In fact, What kind of selling is? It is a normal service, made by a person!

      • So, Francostars, when are you punching the prostitution clock to start your shift selling services of the insides of your body to johns?

      • Franco, where is your humanity? Did you know that many, many prostituted women say that this sex “service” is more accurately paid rape and torture? Did you know that the majority of prostituted women — in all aspects of the sex trade — have severe trauma resulting directly from their sex “services”? Or do you just not care because you do not see these women as fully human? I agree with demonista — how about you take the lead of your idea since money is your #1 concern, but first offer your body to be gang raped a few times, then let’s talk.

        • It is fake! The most of prostitutes are consentient. In fact, the western women are not so much trafficked. This one is the evidence that this slavery is not so much present.

          • Franco, what exactly are you saying is fake? Are you calling prostituted women liars? Their truth-speaking is a very inconvenient reality for the kind of arguments you and other selfish men are giving.

            • I said it is fake that the slavery of prostitution is so much present. It exists, but it is not so widespread. It is not also excluded that prostitutes are not telling the truth about the matter, not to get criminalized for having had a collaboration work with their pimps. In fact, why Western women do not fall into sex slavery as others? Why sex paviments (I see the Italian ones) get empty during the Christmas and Easter holidays? The relative answer is that the sex slavery is not so much widespread. The only resolution to fight the exploitation of prostitution and relative forcing is to get this work not uderground, because the crime would get it much more manageable. Moreover, I know that a lot of salve prostitutes are now free thanks their customers who helped the Police. Prohibition would get this way turned off and it is what crime wants! I hope you would understand this one!

            • Clearly you want what you want, and no one can tell you you can’t have it, is that the case?

              Stop and think for one minute, really think, about these women. Do you want your wife, your sister, your daughter, out there selling herself? After all, it’s “just” a service, right?

              Saying that it’s a “lie” that prostitution supports slavery is just plain ignorant. Many studies, done by scientists who can’t just say whatever they like- they have to prove it- have shown that in countries where prostitution is legal, trafficking (forced prostitution) is MORE not less.

              The truth is, it’s wrong to buy sex or sell it. Sex isn’t just a service, like cleaning a house. It’s using someone’s body like it doesn’t matter, like it’s just an object, and that’s wrong. People aren’t made to be used like animals. We have more value than that. If you don’t think that’s true, then consider how you would feel if your wife said to you, I want to get a job as a prostitute so I can have lots of money and a nice car. Or think about selling yourself to some person who wants to have sex with you in ways you don’t like but you’re expected to do it for the money, because you’re selling a service and you can’t say “no”, and then try to tell me it’s ok. It’s not, and people wanting something to be true doesn’t make it so. Men wanting to be able to buy sex with women and children, them wanting, it doesn’t make it good or right.

      • Rape and torture are not normal services for human beings, only sociopaths and sadists who are disconnected from their humanity.

    • Prostitution among adult and consentient people is a sex way choice and it must be a right and it is also a cheap sex! So it must be respected in the name of democracy.

      • Franco, why can’t men have FREE sex with TRULY consenting women? Prostitution is not choice. Money is the currency that binds slave to slave owner. Democracy doesn’t exist, not as long as the industrial ruling class is ruling, and the sex trade is industrial, commercialized rape & torture. Only people disconnected from their humanity see no problem with it.

        • Men cannot have free sex with women, because these one ask so much for making this one. This is the way to get prostitution, which is a good business, that also it is a way of sex choice if it is carried out by people who are not forced by other subjects making this kind of job. In fact, prostitutes I know, have so big cars and they refuse to get other jobs. Is not it a choice for you this one?

          • When you say men cannot have free sex with women, I think what you mean to say is that you have never met a woman who would have sex with you for free – not surprising with the shit that comes out your vile mouth.

            • I have seen it and I have realized that prostitution is sex by low cost. This is the reason for which it is a big business and it is so hated by other women. This one is the truth.

          • What does this mean Franco, “Men cannot have free sex with women, because these one ask so much for making this one.” That women ask too much to give you free sex? If that is what you mean then you do not DESERVE to have sex. Guess what? You could get TONS of free sex if you treated women with RESPECT! Do you know what Respect means? Do you know what being human means? Women are not fuck machines or objects for your selfish desires. Stop being so selfish and disrespectful of women, be a REAL man!

            • There is respect if the sex workers want to get this kind of activity making sex by low cost. It is clear to understand it! I have already said this one and I am forced to repeat it, because you do not want to see it. In fact, prostitution is so hated by other people.

            • If sex is a pleasure enjoyed by both parties, why should anyone have to pay? Sex is free between consenting adults. The only reason for payment is that one of the parties doesn’t really want to have sex and is being motivated by money. That’s a sick proposition.
              The only lie here is the false psychology that tries to convince women that their bodies are things, for sale, which is the very definition of slavery.

              You’re not going to convince anyone of your lies. Why do you keep trying to convince people who are so obviously against everything you’re trying to say? You’re nothing but a troll and I, once again, call you out on this- I believe you’re benefiting in some way from prostitution, because why else would you keep coming back to argue??

              Real men don’t need prostitutes. Real men can provide value to a woman without offering money, and earn her trust and love. Prostitution hurts both men and women by making love and sex something to be bought instead of earned. It’s cheating both men and women out of what love was meant to be.

  4. @Mary. It is you, as illiberal femminists, who do not to accept that the most of prostitutes are free.
    If an adult relative of mine choses the prostitution as job, I cannot say anything about the matter. It is not logical “Prostitution-Phobia”. A lot of research works, as made by CENSIS, PARSEC in Italy and even the Italian Government, has got that the most of prostitutes are consentient and they are not forced by other ones. It is not possible to consider a slave a person who gets prostitution as a job for having money to live, because it is the same for any other one who makes other jobs for the same reason, as to consider almost all workers in the world as slaves! This one has said by the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg with the September 11th 2007, recouse n. 37192/02 Sentence.
    In fact, as I told before, the western women are not so much falling into the sex salvery and the sex paviments (as in Italy) gets empty during Christmas and Easter holidays. These ones are the evidences that forced prostitution is not so widespread. Moreover, I can say that sometimes street prostitutes gets fight for having the working paviment place, but without otherelse, not to say without their pimps! This one means they have no pimps and so they cannot be in a slave condition.
    It is logical to think that free prostitution is a work as other of free professionists and it must be keep as a right and also taxed.
    I hope I would be so clear to get you seeing the real conditions.

    • Me, a liberal feminist??? You are hilarious. That actually made me laugh. I am the furthest thing from a liberal feminist you’ll ever want to meet. I’m a Bible-believing Christian woman who grew up in the church. I left it for 13 years, before coming back to a hard-won faith. I’ve seen more of the dark side of this industry than you can hope to see walking on a corner and talking to a few women who are so caught up in the lies. You know why they fight for territory? It’s called survival. The women want to eat, and who’s going to hire them or pay them good money to work other jobs after they’ve been prostitutes? If a woman decides to get off the streets and says to you, Francostars, can I come work in your business like a respectable lady and meet your customers and have a job, are YOU going to hire her? Do you really believe these women have any other choice? They compete like that, fighting for places on the corner, because they’ve created their own hierarchy in an effort to feel good about what they do. They’re creating an alternate reality so they can have a shred of self confidence. They fight so they can be on top..,. The one who wins might be the top prostitute, but it’s better than nothing, right? At least she gets to feel like she’s on top of SOMETHING in a society that looks down on her all the time.

      You, sir, have no idea what you’re talking about. Until you go out and live on the streets and sell yourself and then see how people look at you and how they treat you, you don’t know what you’re talking about and you have no right to defend this evil practice. Women and children are told from a young age that this is “normal” and they should accept it because it does them good by giving them money, and they get tricked into thinking it’s a good thing to do, but then when they want to not do it anymore, who is going to marry them? Who is going to give them a job? Once they are in this industry, how are they going to find respect in society again? That is, IF they don’t run into a bad customer. If they don’t wind up in some back alley, injured or even killed. If they have a CHANCE to get out. Many women don’t. Even if they don’t have a pimp forcing them into it, how are they going to make money and live after nice men and women who have no clue what it’s like to need to sell themselves for a meal look at them like they’re dirty because of what they’ve done for a living?

      It’s people like you that feed the lies. The world is an ugly place for a woman who’s been in the sex industry. You go out and LIVE it and then you come back and talk to me about what it is. Until you see it from BOTH sides, you have no clue. You go out and sell yourself to some man who wants to have sex with you and then you tell your friends and family that this is your new job, you’re going to sell your services for money, and you see how they treat you, and then, and only then, you come back and tell me how great and wonderful prostitution is. Quit lying, to yourself and to everyone else. You’re full of shit and you know it.

      • If you are not an illiberl femminist you seem it! However, I met a lot of prostitutes who changed work and they have come back to prostitution saying sex working is risky, but it is possible to get so much money and it is not so hardy. I see them on the Italian streets with big and supertecnological wireless and with new and expensive cars. They fight among them for the working paviment for the big quantity of money. If these ones were reduced in a slavery situation, only their pimps would get fight for this one and not only prostitutes calling even the Police! How do you explain this one? Luckly in Italy, people seem to get it understood and the same Country has got the prostitution taxed, but this one has got fallen in a strange big silence. Nevertheless, the Italian Fiscal Police is persecuting escorts who has big ownerships not to have paid taxes as sex worker.
        Your politic is going bankrupt, because the truth is that the sex slavery is not so much widespread.

      • Thank you Mary – we need more women like you who respect and understand how fucked up life is in prostitution for us and when we come out and feel the trauma, we get shunned by society and men still only want us for a fuck. It’s a fucked up life that so few people understand and that a great many are all too ready to judge. Thank you for standing with us in solidarity xxx

        • Something that someone like Francostar will never understand is that we are all in this together. Every human being is injured with every woman, child and man who is abused. Every time a precious human being, a child of God, is used like a tool or object for another person’s selfish whims, it is an insult and a blow against every single one of us. Pretending that women are commodities to be bought and sold is absolutely disgusting. Every woman out there on the streets, being shown in films, being used is someone’s son or daughter, someone’s brother or sister. Every single one has the same intrinsic value as any other person and anyone who pretends otherwise is depraved.

          I notice he makes no response to the idea of selling HIMSELF, or someone he cares about and values, like a wife or daughter or sister, out there on the streets. That’s because he’s blinded by his own selfish desires for lust and profit and is putting his own wants above the value of the women he seeks to keep in this life.

        • Trauma? Where is it if sex workers leave this kind of job to have another one and immediatly they come back to prostitution?

  5. And you keep completely ignoring the questions of why you think this is good for women. Do YOU want to do their job? Do you want to go out and stand on a corner and offer your “services” (and yes, there are those who pay to be with men, so don’t tell me it’s a woman’s job). If you don’t like what they want, you do it anyway because if you don’t you won’t get paid and you might be beaten up, forced to do it anyway and even killed. Then you go out in the real world and work a regular job, but you’re different from the other people around you because you have PTSD and anxiety disorders and you can’t look at other people as just people anymore, you think about what they want from you and how they’re going to try to manipulate you to get what they want and you can’t trust anyone.

    So of COURSE you go back to the streets because it pays well and it’s the only life you know.

    Franco, you are a pathetic human being. You are trying to defend an industry that is destroying women’s self respect and ability to function in society. You are defending a practice that takes away their chance to be respected and work a regular job and have a happy life with a mate who loves and cares for them. You’re defending an evil, insidious lie and you won’t even respond to the arguments that you can’t answer to.

    I have the feeling you’ve got some personal stake in this somehow- you’re either making money off your pro-prostitution blogging or maybe trafficking girls yourself? Why else would you keep spouting such garbage, especially amongst readers who are never going to accept your bullshit?

    • I can say that men payed by women are not so much, becasue women do not lose monye with sex but they gain it by this activity.
      Prostitution is a kind of sex way as homosexuality, transexaulity, etc. and it must be respected in a democracy society. Who does not want to be a prostitute or get services form them, he can be free to stay far from this activity, but having respect for whom is inside this kind of world carried out by adult and consentient people. This one is that I want and I am against the sex slavery and child prostitution that must be fight against enslavers and aware clients of child prostitutes and not against adult sex workers and relative customers.
      I am not a pimp, because pimps love prohibition. In fact, as I told before, this one helps them to manage prostitution better. It is clear!
      Nobody must get himself envious for the free choise of others.

      • There is no such thing as a ‘child prostitute’! That makes me sick. Children DO NOT chose to prostitute! They are victims of child sex abuse. They are victims of a crime committed against them. The ‘people’ committing these crimes are NOT clients. They are child rapists!

        Prostitution is not a form sexuality like homosexuality, nor is it a type of gender like transsexualism.

        I am not envious of anyone’s free choice. I want women and girls to have free choice, which is exactly why I do what I do.

        • I have already said that I am aganist child prostitution. When a child gets adult can do it.
          In my point of view paying sex is a kind of sexality way as homosexuality and transsexualism and if it carried out among adult and consentient people it must be respected!

  6. Franco, you say ” I have realized that prostitution is sex by low cost.” Sure, maybe low financial cost, but HUGE Spiritual cost. You are speaking like an inhuman robot with no heart, and I KNOW there is a human being somewhere inside, please tell him to wake up.

    • I can say that it is impossible to buy the “real love”, but other condition as the pleasure of sex yes and this one is so widespread all over the world. In fact, the fake love is a kind of prostitution which is not paid immediately and usually it costs much more than the directly paid sex. We must not live with illusions!

  7. You are living with illusions Franco. You are the only one getting pleasure from sex when you buy women, they do not want to be with you and they are not enjoying it. How does it feel to pay women to PRETEND they desire you? Mary is exactly right, REAL men do not pay for sex. It’s really that simple.

    • You are sayin the wrong one. Prostitutes’ customers are so much. Do not know it? It is fake that sex workers do not want to make this one. I have realized that a lot of them have the orgasm even if not at the first time. Regardless the real love, real men prefer to have the low cost sex, instead of paying so much with normal women who clime so much for a fake love.

      • Franco, you have me laughing but this is really far from funny. It sounds to me like you’ve had your heart broken by a woman and/or have issues with your mother. In addition, women can easily fake orgasms. If sex with you was that good, they wouldn’t be charging you for it!

        • Real or fake orgasm is realizing. Moreover sex workers would not so intested about laws or others about their job as I have seen. I have no problem with women execpt the conditions bywhich I have realized that prostitution is sex by low cost. This one regardless the real love. In fact the women men’s toys feel themselves as fools when I tell them these conditions. Are these ones your Real men who do not pay directly with money for sex?

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